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LCARS · LE NOUS ROYAL · BOUTIQUE AI STARDATE 43479.5

◗ Boutique AI consultancy · a crew of one

LE NOUS ROYAL

“the royal we” — a crew of one, with a fleet's worth of range.

Big-company scale on indie-company resources. I learned how Google and Zappos build — and lean all the way into a brand. Now you get the playbook without the overhead. AI for leverage; humans for the magic.

◗ SHIPPED TO 7B USERS AVAILABLE · ONE CLIENT AT A TIME

* the “we” is, technically, one person. far out, right? the work ships.

THE DUDE ABIDES · STRIKES AND GUTTERS, UPS AND DOWNS · THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND · CALMER THAN YOU ARE · THE WORK SHIPS

The perfect blend of chaos and structure.

Most AI shops sell theater — a deck, a workshop, a vague promise. I sell the opposite: a partner who's seen both sides — Google-scale innovation and creative, and the founder's grind of shipping his own products — and who will actually ship yours.

High EQ, high IQ, and TPM rigor in one room. A program manager's whole job is working across every function and stitching the parts into one big-picture vision — which is exactly what a company of one is built to do. We modernize your capabilities, upskill on AI, and set the business up to profit — while keeping core creativity human-led.

“Let me help you profit from years of working for the Man.”// new stuff has come to light

◗ What the research actually says

Most AI doesn't work yet. We're built for the part that does.

The big studies all say the same thing: the tools are everywhere, the results are rare. The difference is never the model — it's how it's applied.

80%+

of companies report no material bottom-line impact from gen-AI — yet.

McKinsey ↗
74%

struggle to scale AI past pilots into real value.

BCG ↗
55%

avoid AI use cases over data & risk concerns.

Deloitte ↗
58%

of small businesses now use gen-AI — most don't know where to start.

U.S. Chamber ↗
5.5:1

they'll embrace AI — if they trust who's behind it.

Edelman ↗

That's the gap I live in: one real use case, measurable before the next — human-led, no hype, and you keep the keys.

◗ Receipts, not promises

5B+
users served on support.google.com
$1.5B
revenue growth driven across EMEA
30 days
idea → App Store + Play Store (gatefold.fm)
17
engineering teams unified with AI at Affirm
chatbot accuracy gain on Google support
45%
fewer support contacts, +23% satisfaction

Drawn to spec. Built to ship.

// every capability, accounted for — no theater, lotta ins, lotta outs.

1)

Creative Ideation & 0→1 Concepts

From a napkin idea to a shipped product. Idea-accelerator energy, minus the committee.

2)

Email Marketing & Funnel Definition

Define the funnel, wire up Mailchimp, and make the numbers move. Yeah, well, that's just, like, your funnel, man.

3)

Customer Service, Chatbots & LLMs

Support that deflects tickets and — royal command — does not make things up.

4)

AI Upskilling & Leverage

Profit from AI across workflows and team fluency — while core creativity stays human-led.

5)

Cultural Adaptation & Localization

Translation and true cultural adaptation, so a concept lands in every market it visits. Led by a fluent French speaker — BA in French, Légion d’honneur, GTM for EMEA’s top 50 brands.

6)

Brand, Creative & Design

Brand-building that leans all the way in — so you don't look like every other AI startup.

7)

Modernize Your Stack

Big-company operations on your indie tools — Shopify, Square, Stripe, Mailchimp — wired to run like a machine.

Shopify Square Stripe Mailchimp Localization Product Dev Recommendation Engines

The signature engagement · one quarter, 1:1

Riff with me for a quarter — and launch the thing.

Imagine riffing with a fellow creative who first understands your vision, then helps you shape it and enable the plan. One quarter, 1:1, idea → shipped product — as deep as it takes: tax nexus, ecommerce, recommendation engines, transfer pricing, the lot.

One quarter, one Dude, one shipped product.

One “dude” — every hat you need

part strategist part engineer part product part designer part brand & creative part producer part data analyst part localizer part go-to-market part ecommerce operator part AI wrangler part sounding board part TPM rigor part honest-feedback-giver
// the dude's rug. it really tied the room together.

◗ How the engagement runs

One quarter. Three moves.

No retainers, no standing meetings about meetings. The goal is to get you going in a quarter — then hand you the keys. I'd rather launch you and leave than be a line item that never ends.

01

Riff

Two weeks of riffing. I learn the business, the taste, and the real goal — then we name the one thing worth building.

02

Shape

We scope it for real — funnel, stack, edge cases, the tax-nexus-and-recommendation-engine stuff nobody warned you about. A plan you could hand to anyone. You won't have to.

03

Ship

I build it with you, in the open — AI for leverage, TPM rigor for the finish. You end the quarter with a shipped product, not a deck.

ONE CLIENT AT A TIME ONE QUARTER · 1:1 MADE TO MEASURE · SUR MESURE Right-sized to what you actually need — fixed-fee, not hourly, scoped on the call. Always more value for less.

◗ More value, not less — for a fraction

The big firms each own one thing. You get all of it — from one person who has actually shipped.

AKQA · Instrument · Work & Co

Range & creative taste.

Accenture

Data & scale.

McKinsey

Frameworks & rigour.

Le Nous Royal

All three — made to measure. Built & shipped in the real world, 1:1.

À la carte, that range runs:

Shopify storefront redesign · agency $8–30k
Email + funnel buildout · Mailchimp $3–12k
SEO, metadata & site cleanup $2–8k/mo
0→1 product build · dev shop / agency $50–200k
A senior generalist to run it all · FTE $150k+/yr

You shouldn't have to choose between range, data and frameworks — or hire three firms and eat their overhead to get them. One accountable person, made to measure: a creative shop's taste, a consultancy's data, a strategist's frameworks — plus the real-world, founder-level experience and 1:1 attention the big guys can't sell. They charge crazy sums because they are the man. Le Nous Royal helps you beat the man — without becoming him. Our rates are value-based, not crazy.

◗ What a quarter can look like

One hero build. A few supporting moves.

A typical quarter is one hero build + two or three supporting deliverables, plus a standing slice of senior capacity. You pick the hero; we pick the supporting cast in week one.

A representative quarter — not a parts list. I don't invoice tasks; I learn the business and build what actually serves it.

Hero build · pick one

0→1 Product

A working v1 in real users' hands — concept to live MVP.

Chatbot / LLM

Deployed, with evals in CI — not a demo that dies on Monday.

Recommendation Engine

A live “you might also like” that earns its keep.

Funnel Rebuild

Email + funnel re-architected, instrumented, converting.

Stack Modernization

Migrated and humming on Shopify / Square / Stripe / Mailchimp.

Brand & Creative System

A coherent identity + asset kit your team can actually use.

Supporting moves · pick two or three

AI upskilling Localization Creative ideation Email & lifecycle Design & creative Personalization tune-up Stripe / Square integration Stack glue
+ STANDING CAPACITY A slice of senior throughput all quarter — strategy when you need a map, hands on the keys when you need a thing made.

Twelve weeks is enough time to ship something real — and not enough to overthink it. That's the point.

— Atelier Le Nous Royal · la galerie

Les Concepts

Proof we ship — et que nous sommes drôles. Built for the love of it, then made to actually work. Range, humour, and a finished product — pick three.

▮ chiefs-trivia [ écran ]

Chiefs Trivia

Fan-trivia game for Chiefs Kingdom. Brand obsession, gamified.

▮ poker-clock [ écran ]

Poker Clock

A tournament blind-timer that actually looks good. Structure for chaos.

▮ yard-fade-builder [ écran ]

Yard Fade Builder

Design the fade before the chair. A daft idea, made to work.

▮ gatefold.fm [ écran ]

gatefold.fm

An app for vinyl/CD/tape nerds — one shelf, a daily pick, a snarky AI clerk. Built & shipped solo: iOS · Android · Web.

TRÈS DEMURE · TRÈS MINDFUL · TRÈS SHIPPÉ · LE NOUS ROYAL · VOILÀ · TRÈS DEMURE · TRÈS MINDFUL · TRÈS SHIPPÉ · LE NOUS ROYAL · VOILÀ ·

Where the “we” comes from.

gatefold.fm · Founder 2026 Idea to App Store + Play Store in 30 days — 1,000 users and 400k albums logged in the first month. AI building AI: Next.js, Capacitor, Supabase, Vercel.
Affirm · Staff TPM 2025–26 Wired Slack, Jira, Git & Workspace into Claude + Notion AI across 17 engineering teams; built custom MCP connectors. Cut contact rate 45%, lifted CSAT 23%.
Google · Sr. Manager, TPM 2017–23 Global ML/AI on support.google.com (5B+ users) — LLM chatbots, AI agents, translation. 6× chatbot accuracy, −28% escalations, +12pt satisfaction.
Google · The ZOO, Paris 2015–17 GTM & strategy for a 50-person creative think-tank serving the top 50 brands in EMEA — $1.5B in revenue growth.
Google · Chief of Staff 2012–15 Search & Assistant — including the Knowledge Panel and the Assistant launch. Lead TPM on “A Beautiful Revolution” (Project Kennedy), Google’s first-ever cross-product redesign — 15 product areas under CEO sponsorship — delivering its press-conference launches across eng teams. The Verge ↗
Zappos.com / Amazon · Sr. TPM 2007–11 TPM for Zappos’ core ecommerce + CX funnel — the recommendation engine, a new Java web platform, the 6pm.com launch (+250% YoY), and the post-acquisition Fulfilled-by-Amazon integration (the company’s #1 OKR, cited on Amazon’s earnings call). One of Zappos’ milestone tech innovations — WWD.

◗ Receipts · the dots I connected

I connect the dots. Here's the paper trail.

None of this was a solo act of genius — it was orchestration. A program manager's job is connecting the people, teams, and pieces into one thing that actually ships. Imagine what dots I can connect for you.

I helped launch Google's Star Trek computer. Now you can have your own.

The Verge “…the most successful by far.” Redesigning Google — “A Beautiful Revolution” (Project Kennedy) · read ↗

The work, in the press

— Who we partner with

Creative entrepreneurs and small-to-medium businesses who make things — and want to make more, better, faster, without losing the soul.

— On the matter of « we »

Why a company of one says “we.”

“The royal we” is the pluralis majestatis — how monarchs have spoken for a thousand years. Never “I,” always “we,” because a sovereign never stands alone; they carry a whole court with them.

It's the joke, and it's the whole promise. Hire Le Nous Royal and you hire one person — but every team that person stood on comes too: Google, Zappos, Affirm, and a founder who shipped his own. That's range a single “I” could never claim.

And there's a second “we,” the one that matters most: you and me. This is a partnership, not a purchase order. We riff, we shape, we ship — together.

“We” is the most important word on this page. It means you're never doing this alone.

— Frequently, fairly, asked

A few questions, man.

Isn't “AI consultant” just the new word for grifter?

Often, yes — and you're right to be wary. The going model: a six-month roadmap, a buzzword deck, a fat retainer, and a pilot that moves nothing. The studies back the skepticism — 80%+ of companies see no bottom-line impact from gen-AI yet. We do the opposite: one person, one real problem first, working output before you commit. We help you beat the man; we're not the man.

So the “we” is… one person?

One person. That's the whole joke — and the whole pitch. You get the range of an agency without the agency: no account managers, no hand-offs, no junior doing the actual work. The person you hail is the person who ships.

Isn't betting on one human risky?

Less than betting on a team you'll never meet. One quarter, one scope, fixed fee — if the fit's wrong you'll know in week two, not month six. And everything we build is yours: documented, handed over, and runnable without me.

What if I need a whole department?

Then I'm probably the wrong call — and I'll say so in the first conversation. This is built for 0→1 and modernize-the-stack work, not for staffing a 40-person org. Honest fit beats a signed contract.

Do you actually write the code, or just “advise”?

I write it. AI for leverage, hands on the keys, TPM rigor on the finish. gatefold.fm went idea → App Store in 30 days the same way.

Why all the Star Trek and bowling?

Because range is the product, and a beige consultancy site would be lying about it. The work underneath is dead serious. The rug just ties the room together.

— Book a fit call · one client at a time

Let's grow your business.

One client at a time. The person you meet is the person who ships. Bring a concept, a mess, or a maybe — the dude abides.

▶ Book a fit call hello@lenousroyal.com gatefold.fm →